I remember in my early 20's, all I wanted was somebody hot...the more swagger the better. I wanted glamour, lust, passion and fantasy. I went through a lot of these types of men, becoming more and more disheartened and less-confident by the moment. I hit a breaking point last year. I gave up on everybody and on the idea that I would ever find anybody who wasn't an asshole.
Which brings me to now. I've found myself at a peaceful and content place. I've found the value in numerous men since then. I've found that nobody is going to fulfil my fantasy, but that doesn't mean that nobody will satisfy me. I hate to say I've lowered my expectations, because I still expect a lot out of a future boyfriend, but I've changed my ideal relationships/interactions from the hot and unique to regular and honest. As I near the next decade of my life, I find myself desiring regular - somebody who might not be a model-type, but may be the most handsome person in my own eyes. Maybe this person has a hidden sense of humor that only comes out after the walls come down. This guy surprises me by following through on the littlest things, reminding me that a man is indeed only as good as his word.
Through all this I find myself in the same place I started: single...only a little less bitter about it.
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