I _____ You.

Though I may not have the natural ability to find relationships, I apparently kick ass at the first and/or second date. 

A while back I had a great first date with Red, followed by a really cute second "date."  I use quotations here because I don't count hanging out as a date.  Regardless this second "date" consisted us lounging around, making jokes and talking nonsense.  In a spitfire round of nonsense and random banter Red asked, "What is the sound of one hand clapping?" 

I, having seen that episode of the Simpsons, started clapping with one hand in response.  Red was super impressed. Why? I can't be entirely sure; maybe he really liked the Simpsons.  But he thought it was hilarious and blurted out, "I love you!"  We both laughed as he continued on talking about how he was going to profess his love that instant on my Facebook wall.  I told him that if he did, I'd be fielding all  subsequent inquiries to him, because that would be huge news in my world! He must have been scared of the fallout because he didn't actually pull the trigger on further professing his love.

Fast forward to the more recent past.   Another first date, this time with a guy I met out and about.  I've never seen him without a hat so from this day forward he shall be known as Hat Guy.  Hat Guy and I texted for about three weeks before we managed to follow through on a first date. Well, to be honest, we texted for three weeks until I managed to follow through on a first date.  By the time we met for our date we'd already established that both of us were decent at entertaining and being somewhat funny. 

The first leg of our date started with a drink at a trendy pub.  We warmed it up with a round of drinks and started the witty quips and one-liners right away.  Next up Hat Guy and I headed down the street to a more comfortable lounge.  The amusement continued, and some more interesting and deeper conversation ensued.  Also, some not so deep conversation ala "If you had any superpower, which one would it be,"  which led to me talking  about a book I read.  As I chattered on and on about reading microscopic and fleeting facial expressions that would ultimately allow you to read one's mind, I experienced a surreal cartoon moment.  You know when Pepe la Pew sees the hot lady cat and immediately his eyes turn into hearts?  Well, that happened...then another thing happened.

"I. Love. You!" 
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Did I tap into Hat Guy's unknown and phenomenally large passion for books? Or possibly an insane interest in facial expressions?  No clue; I giggled, said thank you and continued the conversation, but in my head all I could think was, WOW, I really kick ass at getting dudes to say they love me.  Then I thought, I wonder if I could turn this into some sort of money making venture.  Lessons? Workshops? Advice column? 

Who knows.  But trust this,  I'm starting to keep tabs, and if it happens again, I'm going to call myself an expert.